The Art Form of Self-compassion
This is the first steppingstone of the second pathway as we journey towards self-awareness through dreamwork.
Please click the link below to read the summary of all the pathways, as well as why exploring this first pathway is such an important step before continuing on to read about this second pathway.
If you have not already done so, please sign up to learn more about the four aspects of the initial Mindfulness Pathway. It will allow you to gain a better understanding of and connection to self, relationships, activity in repose, and the natural world before continuing on.
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5 MINUTE READ
Self-compassion is too often considered a luxury.
What happened during our evolution that led us to believe love and kindness towards ourselves is something we will get to when we are finished putting everybody else first?
When did it become commonplace to feel guilty about advocating for our own needs and putting our own well-being ahead of another’s?
Why do we so often feel as if we have to get permission to make time for our own mental, emotional, and physical health?
We often make the same mistakes with regard to our expectations of others. We are so worried about the judgments of society and those around us that we have learned to work harder, do more, be martyrs, never stop, keep going and so on. This is the accepted norm that we impose upon one another.
The problem lies in judgement being a learned behavior that has anchored itself so far down into our depths that we express it dozens of times a day without even being mindful that it is happening.
It would be a learning experience if we kept a record or a journal of every judgement we had towards others, both direct and indirect, in a single day. I think the results would be shocking.
Constructive judgements are necessary to maintain a productive and a progressive world but due to our own personal wounds and experiences we blur the lines and judge things that we have no business judging until we have walked a mile in someone elses shoes.
Self-compassion is essential for us to be happy with who we are, so that we do not wake up one day to find a stranger in the mirror. It is disappointing to come face to face with the pain that we have inflicted upon ourselves.
We cannot manifest compassion for others on a deeper plane if we have not introduced ourselves to the experience of it and the impacts it can have.
The peace and hope it allows us to nurture within gives way for us to have amazing positive effects on humanity and the world. Every problem we have in this world can be connected back to somebody never learning how to love themselves, and I am not talking about ego driven love but rather love born of healthy nurturing and self-respect.
Self-compassion can only happen with a willingness to concede that we are never going to be what society deems as “perfect”, we will never get it right every time, and we will make plent of mistakes. This is all fine if and only if we can hold ourselves accountable and stay opened to the desire to always learn, grow, and change for the better despite the obstacles.
We need to be encouraging toward ourselves, and mindful of how we speak to ourselves, as well as the words we are using. Consider keeping a journal of your self-talk and notice the themes when looking back. Ask yourself if that is how you would or perhaps how you do talk to somebody you love, or a client, or anybody in your community. This can help us to learn more about how we present ourselves and how we are perceived by others.
practicing the small things over and over again creates Space for the biggest impacts:
1) Make time for yourself without apology. As we have already learned in the initial Mindfulness Pathway, moments are precious and powerful gifts.
2) Stand in front of a mirror each day and consider what you like about yourself and make sure they are truly YOUR thoughts regarding your features, your characteristics, your actions, your emotions, your accomplishments, your behaviors, your gifts, etc. Be creative and be honest.
3) Consider reciting a positive affirmation of loving kindness each day. There are so many that exist for you to borrow or come up with your own. Here is a list of affirmations to get the juices flowing.
4) Do something that you have always wanted to do but never got around to because of time or having to do something else considered more “important”. Do something you were told to forget about or that you perhaps told yourself to forget about. If you are stuck, consider instead reliving something impactful that you once did and never returned to. This could be interesting in that as you have changed over time so might your perspectives regarding a revival of that experience, that is if you remain mindful.
Dreamwork –
Were you one of the lucky ones who was taught self-compassion? If so, use your experience to help those around you integrate it more into their lives. If not, what makes you want to find it for yourself? Consider journaling on this subject. This is very good practice for when you begin a dream journal.
Have you embraced self-compassion? If not, dreams may come to you, but many of the intended messages may be lost because your dreams are all about you and the ease of their interpretations is in large part dependent upon the honest and open relationship you cultivate with yourself.
To know self-compassion is to understand and encourage yourself. We build the muscle of a positive mindset through persistence and perseverance. This is how we also need to go about approaching discovering an authentic relationship with our dreams.
The more layers you can find in a dream, the more intimidating it may be, but the more substantial the impact as well. The journey towards embracing self-compassion is very similar.
All the elements of our dreams are representations of parts of us in some way and our subconscious holds these gifts of enlightened opportunity from which we can then learn and become.
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The next steppingstone in the Letting Go Pathway is Building a Support System and it will become available on my blog, Dawning Descent, in due course.
If you were moved by anything that I had to contribute here please contact me regarding your experience. I look forward to our communications!
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