Everyone is a Work in Progress
This is the First steppingstone of the Third pathway in our journey towards awareness as we continue to learn how to unravel the depths of our dreams and discover their impactful nature.
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9 MINUTE READ
Self-knowledge is not gifted to us; it is not a birthright. We have to work for it because it is the solution, and the equation is first ours to win or lose.
Life, and all the experiences therein, is one big test. Family is a test. Money is a test. Children are a test. Love is a test. Hate is a test. Death is a test. Like any other, if we do not study, then we will fail.
How do we study for all this? By cracking the metaphorical books on self-development and self-transformation.
Sometimes failure is not resigned to things ending up in an unexpected or unwanted way. Sometimes failure means coming to terms with our self-truths and being brave enough to realize that perhaps something was not what it had the potential to have been for no other reason than we did not take the time to understand ourselves better.
There is a quote I love dearly, and it gave me pause the first time I read it, this quote by St. Augustine of Hippo reads as follows:
Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.
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It has been my experience that, more often than not, the external is where we are drawn to focus our time and attention. How many of us have daily, weekly, or monthly to do lists? How many of us have a schedule with a list of itineraries? How many of us have a bucket list?
Consider all your lists and then ask yourself, are you anywhere on those lists?
Everyone has scratched the surface of intrinsic knowing, but too many of us have not wished to be bothered with or perhaps have not mustered the will to attempt to peel our layers back further or mine our depths farther. We all too often choose to stop at the basics, such as do I love myself, instead of asking the more difficult question of why I love myself or even why I don’t.
The yes or no of the first question most of us have on the tip of our tongues, whether we are proud of that answer or not. However, when asked the question of why, with the need to contemplate more we go silent for stretches of moments and seem confused by or unhappy with our own silence. Silence speaks volumes. Even more interesting to me is that when we start to answer the question of why, our answers are frequently outward based and qualified by others without us even realizing such a trend exists.
For example, when having this discussion with somebody they said to me, “I love myself because I make other people happy and because people tell me that I am a good writer who has a lot to say.” I said nothing for a few moments and then went on to ask, “Are you happy? What makes you happy? What makes you a good writer? What do you want or need to say? What is it about your writing that inspires you?”. At that point, the discomfort on that person’s face was undeniable and the subsequent silence became louder than that of a plane taking off.
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Do you know why the silence is uncomfortable?
The silence is uncomfortable because in that quiet and stillness we are faced with pain, secrets, thoughts, truths, unfinished business, lost opportunities, regrets, and more. It all washes over us like a massive wave, crushing the breath out of our lungs. It is so quick and so much that we do not even realize it is happening.
Rather than being forced to run headfirst into our dark forest of knowing with all of its inevitable twists and turns, we need to instead find ways to be present enough in the moment to recognize the need to take things slow and in doing so, a little at a time, introduce ourselves to our new surroundings. This can make the commitment to getting to know oneself less daunting and more conceivable.
How do we do this?
Your way is always best, whatever it may be. As long as it gets you to the appropriate destination. My way begins with mindfulness, which is not one thing but many things and is not to me a state of mind but rather a state of being. If you like, consider all this expansive topic has to offer. This journey can begin through introduction to the initial Mindfulness Pathway that starts us on the path towards discovering the impactful nature of our dreams.
Mindfulness is the key to that compelling chest that is gathering dust in our attic corners. When we envision it, we are faced with a melding of curiosity and worry all at once. What is inside that chest is our own value waiting to be discovered. The contents are the breadcrumbs to us recognizing what our core values are so that we may then learn how to utilize them for the betterment of ourselves and then, as they strengthen, even for the benefit of others.
Reviewing one of my earlier blog posts on seeking a relationship with one’s Foundational Values may offer some inspiration during what can feel like an overwhelming stage of this journey. It saddens me that we live in our skin, but many times become lost to ourselves in that we do not pay attention to our own true value, nor do we embrace the innate values we have been blessed to find available to us for wielding as a result of our individual life experiences.
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We will have come quite far when we are able to resonate and come to terms with the fact that we are what we have consistently experienced in our development and beyond. This level of awareness has the potential to guide us to be more conscious of our habitual reactions as we live our lives. It might even help us to learn how to dig our way out of the quicksand we find ourselves in when we are playing the victim.
What do we consider to be our signature moves, both good and bad?
Why do we tend to make the choices that we make?
Fleshing all this out takes patience and courage in that we have to explore the unsolved and unhealed parts of our hearts. This can bring forth an understanding that our thoughts and mentality are what brings us unhappiness and strife so much more so than the situations themselves that are presented to us in our day to day. Such acceptance has the potential to bring a measure of peace not only to us but those around us as well. Do not pass the pain along. Break the chains. Stop the cycles. Be the change.
We all have our own story to tell, and we will tell it in our own ways and our own time. What matters is whether the content of that story comes from a place of authenticity and genuine voice or a place of expectations and approval. A person’s heart cannot be found wallowing in pain when it remains in a constant search for its hopeful, yet candid, dreams.
There is a story that illustrates this sentiment beautifully and is immortalized within the work Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Sealskin, Soulskin is a fable about finding your way home.
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As we work towards our discovery of self, several alluring tools will present themselves along the way, some that work well for us and others that we may find do not. My advice, from my own experiences, is to not get lost in and depend solely on those tools in which safety and resonance are found. We can avoid this by not doing what we so often do, which is become absorbed in the action. We can overcome this by doing what we so often forget to do, which is grasp the philosophy of what it is, what it brings, and why it exists.
A straightforward example would be learning Tai Chi. Why learn the movements if we do not understand the philosophy behind it? Why are we doing it then, why not instead pursue any of a million other different forms of exercise or movement. The basis and foundation of things really does matter. The fact that this way of thinking is not so commonplace is only further evidence of how we often have a hard time looking beyond the external.
Meditation is another great example. This is a wonderful tool of inclusion when we are giving more time to the depths of ourselves. The spirituality of it brings wisdom and we all have the ability to experience it wherever and whenever we wish. The inner workings for it are a part of us and our own intrinsic development. They do not need to be found amongst our surroundings.
Nevertheless, if we do not understand the origins of this practice, the science, the psychology, the benefits and so on, then we are unable to comprehend that it in fact cannot change our lives. We are too often blind to the fact that it can only provide opportunities for us to alter our own minds and hearts in such a way that it can simply empower us to decide on our own scenery, connections, and relationships experienced on the roads that we will inevitably be forced to travel as our futures unravel.
This is a very interesting perspective for us to take in regard to our interactions with self. Have we exposed our own unique ‘philosophy’ for all that it is, all that it holds, and all that it brings?
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Dreamwork –
How much time do we spend learning about ourselves as opposed to learning about anything else?
Do we believe that there are still things worth discovering within us?
Do we lean more towards humility or pride? Maybe journal about this one because there is usually a lot of content to be found here.
We can all benefit and learn from the intrinsic gifts of knowing that are buried beneath the rugged terrain of our sleep-filled dreams.
We are our own biggest challenge in this life. We all dream, but it is our choice to pay attention. It seems so simple, but it’s not and all too often neither is a dream.
Our lives have become so busy, so loud, so full, so fast, that we miss unearthed treasures in the unbeaten soil that exists deep inside ourselves.
We have to believe that we are never a finished product for our dreams to be of any benefit to us at all.
We have to embrace a sense of being where growth and evolution of self never stops unless we stop it.
We must be strong enough and brave enough to face our own burdens and baggage, and our dreams can help us to do this.
Poetry is often dream-like, indirectly bringing things to the surface for acceptance and subsequent healing under an obscure canopy. Keeping with this sentiment, my poem, A Flowing Movement, is the perfect supplemental read to re-enforce the ideas presented in this article using a different language, so to speak. Sometimes simply expressing something through a change in voice can open the flood gates in ways not yet realized or in ways that we never DREAMED possible.
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The second steppingstone in the Courageous Choice Pathway is accepting the Teachings of the Subconscious, and it will become available on my blog, Dawning Descent, in due course.
If you were moved by anything that I had to contribute here please contact me regarding your experience. I am excited to travel this path and learn along with you. I look forward to our communications.
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